Hans Kung Converts to Catholicism: Tübingen, Germany – The Schwabisches Tagblatt has confirmed that it will soon print an interview with renowed scholar Hans Küng in which the Swiss theologian declares his intention to become Roman Catholic. The interview, which will be printed in the special Sunday edition of Kultur, Mode, Personen, will relate Küng’s long and winding theological and philosophical journey to Roman Catholicism. Speaking to the Tagblatt’s Kulturberichterstetter Ulrich Wolfsberger, Küng allegedly notes, “my move to Roman Catholicism comes after years of dabbling in Barth, Hegel, and my vision of a Weltethos, which now seems a little zany even to me. I just thought that it was finally time for me to come home.” Pope Benedict XVI is said to have visibly shuddered at hearing the news.
Two Kingdoms Doctrine to Include The Magic Kingdom: Geneva, Switzerland – According to recent reports the World Council of Churches is set to expand the two kingdoms doctrine in order to include The Magic Kingdom. Speaking on behalf of the Faith and Order Commission, Prof. Constantine Scouteris noted,
”Boniface and Luther had no idea of the immense power and glory of The Magic Kingdom, and our recent decision to include the sword in the stone alongside the temporal and spiritual swords reflects present realities.” Responsibilities allocated to the new kingdom include hilarity, exorbitant taxation, and the moral formation of millions upon millions of children.
In return The Magic Kingdom was also ordered immediately to stop all further sequels to The Aladdin series and to produce DVDs and videos that self-destruct after three viewings, thus sparing family and friends infinite viewings of Beverly Hills Chihuahua and Space Buddies.---Swine Before Pearls.Wordpress
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